03 Sep 21 / Blog

Stop seeking the approval of others

One of the most powerful things you can do is to release yourself from seeking the approval of others. The main reason we do this is because we lack the conviction of our own opinion so we need it validated by someone else.

Now i guarantee that at some point in your life you will have been given someones approval, someone has told you you’ve done a good job or they have thanked you for something you did for them. This was the approval that you craved but I bet you didn’t sit in that space of gratitude and think how amazing it was that they said those kind words. Maybe you even questioned the validity of the words, did they mean it? Were they just being kind etc

You see because even though you get what it is you’re looking for it will never stick because you don’t need their approval the approval you need is your own. You need to accept you, you need to love you!

When you do the internal work and learn to love yourself wholeheartedly you stop seeking the approval and opinions of others and instead you become grounded in knowing that you did a good job or that you’re a good person or that the thing you did came from a good place etc

Learning to love yourself wholeheartedly doesn’t mean you become overly confident and don’t care anymore, it just means you’ve learnt to love yourself the good bits and the bits you don’t like so much

How to start this process of Self Approval:

  1. Make a list of all your strengths
  2. Make a list of your development areas and start to take action to improve these
  3. Bit about yourself but you know you can’t change learn to accept them and remember nobody is perfect
  4. Every time you do something good, something that reflects your strengths allow yourself to feel good in that moment. Take time to acknowledge what you did came from a good place
  5. When somebody paid you a compliment learn to accept it. We sometimes have a tendency to play down a compliment by telling people something negative STOP doing that! For example “you did a great job on that project” your new response “thank you soo much, i worked really hard on that and i’m super pleased with out outcome!”
  6. Become conscious of your thoughts! Your mind might be used to telling you a negative story about yourself and it’s just become your norm, you need to be consciously aware of the store so you can start to change them

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